As I get to meet with college students, and post college students, one of the biggest questions they wrestle over is, “Who am I, and what’s my purpose?” Most young people who are Christians know they are a child of God and redeemed to be a messenger of hope in this world, but what’s their place?

I find that most of the time, people in this age group are trying to determine their unique strengths, weaknesses, and the best place for them to live and serve in this world.

What helps a young person navigate this season is to help them understand how they view themselves and determine what’s real and what’s not. Then help them learn how God has uniquely made them and how that fits within society.

Steve Cockram, from GiANT Worldwide, says that there are three things that make up who we are and what we will become. I’ve found these helpful in explaining to young people their identity and why they are the way they are. I share this because my hope is that young people would be comfortable enough in their own skin and know that God has made them uniquely on purpose for the glory of God and the good of others. God never wastes time when he creates a human being.

So here are three things that will help you navigate identity and purpose:

 

NATURE

God designs you and hard wires you in such a way that cannot be changed. There is only one you.

26 “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” 27 So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.” Genesis 1:26-27, CSB

The author uses the term our image and our likeness, so that means that God created humanity to be like Him. It’s hard to determine what all it means to be like God, but something that can be taken away from this passage is the innate value it places on humanity.

In 2020 my wife gave birth to our son William. It’s been such a wonderful season of life. One of the things that has been the most intriguing is to watch him grow and see how he is like his mother and me. When people meet him, they are always trying to distinguish who he looks like or acts like. William is like Olivia and I in a lot of ways, but in a lot of ways he’s his own unique human being. There is something about him like us. The same goes for every individual and God.

If we are all like God then that means every human being, yourself included, has an innate value that can never be taken away. God loves you so much, He made you like Him. Whether you or someone you know are struggling over self-image, perceived weaknesses, relational status, gender identity, it’s important to know that God highly values you regardless of how you feel or what someone might say about you.

You are an image bearer and there is nothing that can change that.

Your unique nature

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

The key word in this passage is workmanship. The Greek word used here is poiema. It’s where we get our english word poem. Poems are unique stories, and that’s what God creates within every individual. When someone comes to faith in Jesus Christ, God continues to craft and transform them in their relationship with Him. What’s the point of all of it? Paul says for good works. God has crafted each person in such a way so that we would be a people that bring good works to the world in their own unique way.

I had the hardest time in my teenage years wishing I was more extroverted. Extroverted people get their energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. They are excited when they are around people. When I was young I looked around at the people having the most fun and who were the most liked and they were the students who were extroverted. They loved the spotlight, they loved being around people, and honestly they just looked like they could be themselves. I envied that.

However, I didn’t realize it at the time, but I am introverted. That means I like getting my energy from dealing with ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. An introvert prefers doing things alone or with one or two people they feel comfortable with. That’s certainly me. I didn’t want to go to concerts, those drained the energy out of me, but I would love to go to a coffee shop or play video games with 2-3 of my closest friends.

But because I wasn’t comfortable in how God had specifically designed me, it caused me to turn to destructive behavior and habits because I felt like I could “open up” and “be myself” and allowed me to have the fun I thought I needed. I didn’t own my own uniqueness and it cost me.

So what about you is unique? Are you extroverted or introverted? Are you someone who thinks with their heart or their head? Do you tend to think concretely or abstractly? Each of these are unique designs by God that we cannot change. God wanted you to be the way you are because He wants to use you to make a difference in this world and display Him.

 

Nurture

God places you in a family or home, and you develop outside relationships, that shape what you believe about yourself.

It’s profound how much the community you keep shapes your understanding of self and your behaviors. It’s hard to find a young person who doesn’t accept the identity of their group, because if they don’t, they normally are not allowed to stay in that group.

If you look at the community you keep, there are likely a set of unspoken values that are established. They aren’t on a wall, or on a sheet of paper, but they are there. I grew up in a home that valued hard work, modesty, and laughter. Because my home valued this, as I got older these values are still ingrained in me. If these three things aren’t present in me, then I’m not being me.

When I was college aged, the community I kept valued fun, laughter, and to my detriment, alcohol. Normally alcohol fueled the first two. It’s was hard for me to walk away from it because it was such a value and staple of the community that I kept. To walk away from it was to walk away from the community.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1

“Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.”

Paul was calling this church to shape their understanding of themselves and their behavior around him, which was a reflection of the life of Jesus. If the community you keep doesn’t reflect the character of Jesus, you will be nurtured in the wrong direction.

What are the values of the community you keep? Do they embody the values of Jesus? Does the community you keep help shape you to be like Jesus?

 

Choices

God has given you the ability to make choices that impact the trajectory of your life.

I made poor choices in school, so I never made the grades for anything after high school. I floundered through Community College. Two years in I made the choice to start a business. A few years into starting a business, I sensed something was missing; I made the choice to attend church and eventually came to faith in Jesus Christ.

Shortly after that I made the choice to go on a mission trip, which would change the direction of my life. I got into ministry, God began to build that ministry and I ultimately found a career in ministry.

After years of singleness I heard about a girl and I made a choice to pursue her. That girl ended up becoming my wife; however, she would have never become my wife if I (1) wasn’t saved and (2) involved in ministry. A few years into our marriage we made a decision to have a child.

My point…

Our choices shape what we believe about ourselves and the trajectory of our lives. Some of us have made poor choices that have cost us tremendously. Some of us have made wonderful choices that have benefited us well.

How do the choices you have made shape the way you view yourself? What choices can you make today that will change the trajectory of your life?

 

The biggest struggle

I sense the one area young people struggle the most is nature. Sometimes its hard for young people to be comfortable in their own skin. As a ministry leader, lean into this. Show young people who God says they are. Highlight their strengths and leverage them for ministry. Discuss their weaknesses and help them realize we all have weaknesses. God wants to use everyone of us, just as we are, to bring glory to Him and good works to a hurting world.